After I posted the above Inspirational Quote to my BipolarChatroom FaceBook page, I have had such a response with it, I wanted to go into more detail about its contents.
Twenty-eight people have liked it and seventy-two people have shared it to their own page, making this the most popular Inspirational Quote I have shared, out of the hundreds there have been.
It really does speak for itself. You should NEVER feel :
Selfish for having depression
Rude for being anxious
That its wrong to have schizophrenia
Anxiety forms a big part of my life, and like I have said before, because people cant see it, some either don't understand, haven't been educated properly about how to approach someone falling in the above categories, or think there isn't a problem because the 'illness' is invisible.
If we had the flu or a broken leg, would some people react and treat us differently, than having a 'mental illness?' Unfortunately, the answer to that question is 'yes'.
I'm not saying that everyone reacts like that, because they don't, but even the minority, whether it being just one person who can make us think differently about ourselves, questioning our diagnosis and making us, therefore, question ourselves about our illness, can make us feel worse about ourselves.
Society does need to change and be educated about people with ALL mental illnesses.
I know there was that advert on television a few years back where that man returned to work and there were all kinds of scenarios in it, including :
How do I approach him?
What if he "Goes into one?"
I don't know what to say to him.
Do I mention the fact he has been off with depression?
But one television advert isn't going to change how people feel, the campaign needs to be on-going.
Those people suffering can sometimes feel like and be treated like someone who has recently been bereaved. People don't always do it, or even realise they are doing it, but avoidance like crossing the road to avoid talking to the person, as they don't know what to say, is a prime example.
All the person suffering needs is a friendly face, maybe a chat and not made to feel like they are all alone.
Lets face it, one in three of the population will suffer some kind of mental illness during their lifetime.
Don't make yourself feel guilty about your mental illness as the Inspirational Quote says, remember to look at the word illness, and review its definition. We all need to treat ourselves with the same respect and concern as we would do someone suffering with cancer or pneumonia, for arguments sake.
It's only recently that I have been questioning when I was dismissed from my job five and a half years ago.
Would I have been dismissed if i took the same time off sick with Cancer or pneumonia?
It does make you wonder doesn't it!!?
I thought I had to discuss the quote as it had such strong message to give.
A few weeks back I was approached by a blogger who has a site purely dedicated to Bipolar disorder. He came to me asking if I would be interested in writing as a guest blogger on his page after I had written a blog about bullies.
This offer was too good to turn down and so here are my thoughts!
I have to admit to having not fully understood what being Bipolar actually means and how it manifests itself and effects the sufferer. I am not sure the word “sufferer” actually is the right term to use to describe someone who has the illness but from the research I have made it does seem like the most suitable term.
Firstly I think it’s important to explain what “Bipolar” actually is.
Bipolar disorder is an illness and NOT a disease. A disease is something you can catch and an illness is a condition that is genetic.
The illness may not manifest at all in your life or can be triggered by stress or any extreme situation. You may even have the genetic coding but never actually display or feel the extremes of emotion someone who is bipolar displays.
Bipolar disorder (which is also known as manic depression) is a mental illness involving episodes of serious mania and depression. These can be severe mood swings accompanied by changes in emotions, thoughts, behaviours, physical health and functioning. The mood swings are more extreme and more prolonged than the everyday ups and downs that everyone experiences. Emotions may vary from depression and hopelessness through to feeling overly elated or irritable. People usually go through periods of “normal” mood in between these times.
Here is a link to a site that better explains Bipolar disorder!
Now, I have been trying to come up with my angle on the topic and have come to the conclusion that I am probably going to be getting some aspects of being bipolar very very wrong!
What I would like to discuss is how someone with Bipolar needs to feel “normal” and it’s the lack of this feeling that can create further and greater extremes of emotion. If it is understood that ALL people go through phases of emotion that can be high or low with little moments of “nothing” in between then it might aid someone who suffers from the Bipolar illness into realising they are not the freakish yeti creature that they might themselves feel they are!
I am not trying to smooth over this issue by chucking strange analogies into the blog but I am sure that, from my understanding of the topic it is vital to hit it head on. I cannot pretend to understand what emotion someone who is Bipolar feels or how it displays itself on a physical and mental level but I can try to understand what the process is and perhaps look at how it can be reduced or alleviated.
If you see someone walking down the street who is on crutches, or who is limping or who is obviously suffering from a physical disability we can all recognise and sympathise with them (even if as is common, they don’t want sympathy). With someone who is bipolar there is no way of knowing. We can’t exactly say “look at Jim, he is Bipolar”, in fact we may not even know that Jim (in this example) has been suffering from Bipolar disorder at all.
The only time we might find out is if we deem a reaction from “Jim” as a bit over the top compared to the situation he has faced. I am not talking about an overreaction in the “Fame” musical theatre way, I am talking about a cataclysmic flare up of emotion and an explosion of one mood or another. Remember, it goes both ways, extremes of emotion are highs AND lows.
“Jim” might react in a certain way and will be fully aware that his emotional response is very extreme. He will then feel very stupid for his behaviour and then (if it an extreme high) hit a major low due to an awareness and confidence hit to his system. If it a low point for him then he might become aware that people are looking at him with a quizzical eye and this will deepen the depression.
Bipolar is also known as “manic depression”. Some of the greatest comedians and entertainers have suffered from this due to a desire for acceptance and appreciation and so it goes that a lot of Bipolar sufferers are also extremely talented and arty people.
It is also worth noting that a lot of extremely talented mathematician’s were autistic. The like of Darwin and Einstein for example…For arguments sake, Hitler was also thought to be autistic, but that’s another story! The reason I state this is because how a brain works is a direct link to what one can achieve.
At this stage, perhaps I should list a few people who admit to being bipolar (in no particular order)
Robert Downey Junior
Edward Elgar
Paul Gascoigne
Edgar Allan Poe
What links all these people? artistic flair! Each and every one of the four people above (and there are hundreds of examples out there) have a flair for creation, be it sporting flair, musical flair or artistic flair (which comes under musical flair too!). Highs of emotion coupled with the extreme lows seem to follow these people around like a bad smell and yet it is this exact disorder that has enabled them to achieve so much greatness and has driven them on to such high levels of “success”.
I do not want to write of the illness that is “Bipolar” as an aid to success in artistic circles, it has a HUGE stigma attached to it and one that needs to be debated out loud and out proud as well.
I often feel that we are not honest as a species and not open enough with each other about how we feel and what we are going through and instead try to demonstrate a desired example of ourselves to those who we encounter. It is often the closest to us that know the reality and in most cases accept the reality.
I really had no idea where this blog was going to go and where it would end up when I started and I think it’s about time I summarise it all.
Being bipolar may not be what anyone wants to labelled as but it’s also not something to hide away from. If everyone who suffered said “I am Bipolar” in an alcoholics anonymous kind of way then maybe, just maybe those sufferers out there wouldn’t feel so isolated and “strange”. If forums and blogshttp://facebook.com/BipolarChatroomhttp://twitter.com/BipolarChatroom came to the forefront of society then we would all be able to act as councillors and friends to each other and slowly stub out the stigma of the illness.
To finish off then. I guess being Bipolar can be a pressure in itself. I have seen how a sufferer can go from one extreme to another first hand and it is very hard to deal with. It can make you question yourself and can lead to a confidence knock to ones own ego as well. This in turn leads to banging heads together (figuratively) as both want the issue to be gone and the “norm” to be restored.
There is help out there for anyone concerned and the illness is treatable with new methods constantly being researched and trials. Humans have evolved a great deal and personally I think we are emotionally and physically behind where the technology currently is. This leads to greater chasms in understanding and a greater feeling of disassociation to others around us. Facebook, Twitter and even this blogging world have given so many a platform to do good, but it also is a platform that can harm.
If we all pull together then anyone suffering any illness, no matter what will not feel like an outsider and will be able to blend in with those around them to a level that surely is “human”?
I hope this blog doesn’t offend anyone and I apologise if my terms and understanding are not correct.
Sometimes we think we are the only ones going through our 'mental illness' and battling bipolar disorder. We feel alone, isolated and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We don't dream that the rich/famous/royalty are going through some kind of mental illness. Surely they are invincible? Aren't they? Maybe ten or so years ago I would have agreed, but now, knowing what I know, that certainly is not the case. Princess Diana had an eating disorder, and the sad losses of Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston are proof that it is not just us 'ordinary people' who suffer, as drug addiction is also classed as a mental illness. Take a look at the video of some of the famous people who do have, or did have, bipolar disorder. You might just be surprised
I think this video was created in America, so you might not know some of the people, but there is enough you will have heard of. And do you know what they all have in common : great intelligence. Some of our greatest poets, writers, singers and even television presenters suffer with the illness, which should make us feel 'not so alone.' Over the last 5 to ten years, celebrities have openly admitted they have the disorder, a few saying they want to help other sufferers. The most memorable celebrity in my mind is Stephen Fry.
He has made various programmes and a documentary, in particular, highlighting bipolar and how it has affected his life. Here is an interview with him talking about the illness.
The above may be quite hard to watch and take in for a sufferer, but Stephen is speaking from his own experiences and by those he has interviewed. What we have got to remember is that bipolar can be managed, as I have said in previous blogs; by taking your medications, having a confidant who you can tell anything to and by keeping a mood chart so you may be able to notice possible triggers in the future and try to combat a really 'bad' episode. Here is the documentary Stephen did on bipolar a few years back which makes interesting viewing. Secret life of a manic depressive part1
Secret life of a manic depressive part2
As he has said, he was expelled from school, disappeared after a play he was in was panned by critics and turned out to be a flop, so he decided to just 'disappear' abroad for a while, not telling anybody. People didn't know where he was, and thought the worst. Stephen has admitted he hadn't taken any medication up to the time of the documentary from first being diagnosed, which was a period of eleven years. He asks himself "Is this the right thing?" In my opinion I think he should be on medication as nobody knows if there is an 'episode' around the corner waiting to manifest, and to what degree it will be. But some people think they can manage without it. I know I couldn't. The next person I want to talk about is Kerry Katona. She certainly hasn't had it easy over the past few years; with the breakup of her marriages, going through bankruptcy. Here is a clip of her on This Morning a few years ago.
Kerry was 'slurring' all through the interview, which Fern and Phil were concerned about. She admitted she hadn't been drinking and said it was the medication she was taking for her bipolar. I must admit, I have had times when my medication has made me slur, especially the diazepam which can lead people to think you have been drinking. Next is an interview on This Morning a few years later where she explains what was 'going on' during the interview.
Kerry has said that when she was doing the first interview it was purely the medication making her slur. She was also in a 'dark' place with the break down of her marriage, leading to her taking drugs.
I myself turned to alcohol when my bipolar was at its worst, and I didn't like the person I was, and it certainly wasn't agreeing with my medication. I have been clean from alcohol now for 3 years and 1 month.
Kerry has weened herself off her medication, without advice from her doctor. I must stress that if you are thinking of taking yourself off of your medication, you MUST seek advice from your doctor or psychiatrist as it can be dangerous.
I am glad Kerry is in a 'happy' place now, we all deserve to be!
Frank Bruno has been very open about his bipolar. The signs were there, in retrospect, says Frank and his daughter.
After watching him talking to Piers Morgan about his mental health, and when he was sectioned, it really does make you think.
Here is an interview with him on Lorraine talking about bipolar and the stigma that still surrounds it.
Frank's marriage broke up and he felt so 'alone'. He would try and sleep in his boxing ring he had in the garden and his behaviour was becoming more erratic. This led to him being sectioned and subsequently being diagnosed bipolar. He talks about the stigma that is still going on today about mental health problems, and as Lorraine says, which is such a classic example which I have touched on, if you had a broken arm (which is visible) you would get sympathy from people, but I'm afraid that's not always the case with mental health. Frank has recently been re-admitted for further treatment, but has now been discharged and is now on the mend. I hope you feel better soon Frank. The last person I want to discuss is Catherine Zeta Jones. She thought she just had depression until she was admitted to hospital for some tests. Take a look at the following video.
The above video discusses the differences between type I & type II bipolar. It also hints that certain 'stressful' situations can bring on bipolar. Catherine had a year when her husband Michael was diagnosed with cancer, he was sued by his ex wife and his son went to prison. I have previously said in my research that certain situations in life can 'trigger' bipolar. The next video is pretty similar, but shows the 'emphasis' that Catherine wants to share her experiences to help others.
Catherine has been quoted as saying "If I can help just one person by revealing i'm bipolar, then it's been worth it." As you can see, bipolar isn't just something us 'ordinary' people have. Anyone can get it. It's like autism, the most intelligent people can get it, and you will find a lot of people that have it are very creative people. Also, all the people I have mentioned want to get the message across that the stigma should end, and hoping that them coming forward will help others seek the help they might not have done otherwise. Well that's blog 11 folks. If you want to get in touch with me, here are the following ways.
I would still like volunteers for guest bloggers. Let me know if you are interested.
Take care,
Deano
Saturday 21st April 2011
Wednesday 4 April 2012
BipolarChatroom Blog 10
Below is a poem I have written, including my experiences, and bipolar/mental health in general
No one has a choice to be born
If some of us had the choice would we weather the storm?
Life for most people is one big rat race
But could some of us really keep up with the pace?
Life doesn't come with a guide for parents or kids growing up
Some people are blessed living with nothing but good luck
Not that they have won something like the lottery
Just that they are spared by living life stress free
A lot of people, however aren't given this gift in life
Day after day can be full of trouble and strife
People with bipolar and mental illnesses will experience this
They can live their lives quite often deep in an abyss
So hard to get out of, at the end of the day thinking "Why me?"
And over and over again the sufferer has no answers to see
Oh, but it is an 'invisible' illness, "He or she must be fine."
This is when ignorant people begin to 'cross the line'
"They haven't got their leg in plaster. They must be ok!"
If only mental illnesses were as simple and were that way
But the truth of the matter is they are not, and never will be
And no 'magic' pill will set bipolar totally free
It's an illness for life which is the truth
Talking to your Dr or Psychiatrist is the advised proof
A broken bone will, in time, heal and you will be fine
Bipolar will always be there time after time
You may wake up one day and feel as high as a kite
No cares in the world, as you don't see it as a fight
Racing thoughts, even spending money you haven't got
Taking risks, doing things easily forgot
But when that high brings you back down to earth with a bang
You may feel regret, remorse or dislike yourself. I know I can
With me that 'high' exhausts me and can bring on a low
Now this I do see as a fight as all I want is for it to go
The anxiety, panic attacks and mixed emotions in my head
Days like this I can't bring myself to get out of bed
I want to 'hide' under my duvet fall asleep until I'm ok
But a low period, for me, can last more than a day
I can't spend my life in bed and watch it go by like that
I have to try and fight the dreaded fear, the word being combat
I have been bullied for most of my life, sometimes living in fear
I have heard stressful situations, like this, can be a trigger point for bipolar and other mental health illnesses to appear
I lost my job of fourteen years due to my sick leave with bipolar
something I have never really got over
My job was my 'crutch' in life and gave me the confidence I so badly yearned for as though I needed a purpose and a goal
But that was taken away from under my feet, feeling like it 'ripped out my soul'
I haven't quite been the same since that day, a lot of the time feeling 'flat' and the anxiety has reared its ugly head more
Taking those blessed tablets to get rid of it can be such a chore
In an ideal world I would love to be 'smartie' free
But I'm afraid that isn't a possibility
I remember how I was when I was diagnosed 12 years ago
High as a kite one minute, then the lowest of the lows
I was born 6 weeks early forty years ago and was in hospital for five weeks and nearly didn't survive
Research shows premature births can also be a trigger point for bipolar later on in life
I have learnt so much from my research since I started up this site, things about 'living with bipolar' I didn't even know
And that was just over two months ago!
Things my Psychiatrist(s) never told me in 12 years!
I have started to self-educate myself, and hopefully and eventually gradually begin to 'hold back those tears'
I have started going out for walks which is a good thing to do
Physical exercise is recommended three or four times a week and I will do the same tomorrow too
I have been waking up earlier in the morning instead of lying in until mid-day or so
That is a good thing for me as I have never been a 'morning' person. An appointment at 9 o'clock used to be a no-go!
Making sure my sleeping patterns are consistant, well I'm getting there on that!
Eight hours a night is recommended, going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time is a proven fact
Make a note of your thoughts, emotions and how you feel
This can be a good way to see possible 'trigger' points coming on and, ultimately, heal
One thing I always come back to asking myself is "Who is the real me?"
I'm not better by a long chalk yet, that I can see
But, was it when I was at school/college as a teen?
I showed no signs of having bipolar then, but the signs aren't shown until later on, it would seem
Was it when I started work at eighteen and then had a break down the next year?
Was it then the dreaded word appeared, 'fear?'
One thing I will say is since taking my medication, which has changed several times over the years, I have altered a lot
Some of the names of the drugs I used to take I have even forgot
Prozac was my first drug 17 years ago and just removed all of my emotions. I couldn't cry
This was before my diagnosis & it turned out I was on the wrong drug!! My oh my!
Since being diagnosed the 'mood swings' would rear their ugly head.
Sometimes from the minute I woke up to when I went to bed
I would make my colleagues laugh at work, being the centre of attention, craving being in the limelight
But on a low day, I barely said a word. What a constant fight!
Since I've lost my job I've had more lows than highs, but I'm hoping I can somehow control it
I've got to practise what I preach, have the courage of my convictions and start to educate myself doing what I have learnt, bit by bit
As I've said, I have taken the first steps, and hope to achieve my goal
It won't rid me of my mental illness, but it will, hopefully keep it under control
I know there will be times when it will be impossible to do
That is what my Dr, psychiatrist, family and friends are there for, to help me to get 'through'
As I have said, it may not be an easy ride
But since I have started up this site I have so many people who can 'empathise', and I can confide
Lastly I NEED to bring up the 'stigma' of mental health
People are still so ignorant about the illness and has nothing to do with race, background, age or even wealth
Even today 'mental illnesses' are still 'tabu'
Bipolar, depression, PTSD to name a few
We're not going to 'bite your head off' if you approach us
Most sufferers would kindly like to be approached by a colleague, friend so we can 'discuss'
But for this to happen, a lot in society needs to change
We're not 'monsters' and won't go into a 'rage'
Schools should educate at a young age as the chance of somebody suffering with some kind of depression in life is quite high.
They need to know more about depression, and other mental health illnesses, so they can confidently approach us, something we so need to learn to 'rely'
Let's end the stigma of mental health so more people aren't afraid/scared/unsure of what to say
All we want is for people to approach us and say are you ok?
No one has the choice to be born
But with help and self-education we can try to weather the storm
By Deano Hollett 4th March 2012
I just wanted to end with an inspirational video with various quotes. I found it the other day and is very inspiring. Remember, Positive Mental Attitude!
I am after a 'guest blogger' in the next few weeks. I have had a few people interested so far, if you are interested let me know via one of the sources below :-
